Today is December 1st. My baby was due November 29th. Another due date come and gone (my first child was two weeks late). I find myself yet again in the season of Advent with my own sense of waiting and expectation.
My friend Aimee preached a great sermon on Sunday. She preached from Mark 13, which has some interesting correlations to childbirth. On the one hand, verse 29 says, "when you see these things taking place, you know that he is near." There are some definite signs that a baby is near--contractions, changes in baby position, nesting, etc.
On the other hand, verse 32 says, "But about that day or hour, no one knows." Ultimately, apart from medical interventions, there is no way to predict the exact day and time when labor will begin or when it will end in birth. All the signs may indicate that a baby is imminent, but that could mean that I won't finish this post because my water breaks suddenly or that I'm waiting for another week.
What really got me, though, was what Aimee said about how to live in the space of waiting, hoping, and looking ahead. According to verse 34, when a man leaves home, he puts his slaves in charge, "each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch." Some of us are called to be doorkeepers, to put our time and energy into watching for the master's return. But the rest of us are called to fulfill our duties, to take care of the master's estate while he is gone.
Something clicked in that moment. Last week, I was sick and miserable, and all I could think was, "Please get this baby out of me! I have to have this baby NOW!" But in my obsession with keeping watch, I was neglecting my work, not fulfilling my duties as well as I could have. Yes, I was sick, but my obsession with trying to discern the day and hour was only adding to my misery.
I feel much better today physically, but Aimee's sermon changed my emotional outlook. I don't think I'm meant to be a doorkeeper. I don't think I have the right temperament for watching and waiting. I'm a lot better off when I'm doing my duties--laundry, cleaning, cooking, praying, reading, taking care of my husband and son.
The day will come when I have a baby, just as the day will come when Christ comes again. But for today, I will heed the words of Susanna Wesley: "The best preparation I know of for suffering is a regular and exact performance of present duty." Today I will hope for a baby soon, but in the meantime, I will do my best to perform my duties faithfully.
Maybe your attitude change helped more than you knew! Congratulations on the birth of your sweet baby. And you only had to wait a couple extra days this time not weeks!
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you one thing...After I wrote this, I decided not only to make supper but also a batch of chocolate chip cookies, which were wonderful to eat in the hospital!
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