It’s a topic I’ve been chewing on for a while, and I’d like
to get a little perspective from my fellow blogstresses. Marissa belongs to a
denomination that ordains women (obviously), I belong to the very last denomination
that will ever, ever ordain women (a cold day in Hell), and Bethany goes to a
church somewhere between the two (I think?).
Anyway, here’s the topic: Why is women’s ministry so lame?
Maybe you think it’s not. This blog post is not for you.
Are all those wrong people gone now?? Ok, let’s move on.
I got a phone call a little while ago from a woman at my
church asking if I wanted to be involved in a women’s bible study that’s
starting up this fall. Bible it up with my fellow chicas? Heck yes! Aaaaaand
then she asked the question that cut me into pieces: “oh wait, do you still work?”
Never mind.
Men’s bible studies are traditionally early Saturday
mornings. Women’s are held at 9:30 am on a weekday. Sorry, I’ll have been at
work for an hour and half before you’re even finished with the Danishes.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our church. They have been an
enormous blessing to our family in ways they probably don’t even know. And they
give us the opportunity to be a blessing to others. They have all the resources
of a big church with the community and unity of a small church. For us, it
feels like home.
Which is kind of my point – even in my amazing, well-led,
Spirit-filled church, women’s ministry is lame. Even worse, it’s completely
unavailable to anyone who isn’t a housewife.
WHY??????????
I also would like to connect with God in real and meaningful
ways. Don’t shut me out because I have a job.
While we work through that problem, let’s move on to the
next facet of lameness. I went to a big event last year and they had a “women’s
luncheon.” The theme was Find Your Inner Beauty or some such nonsense. I’m
sorry but has there ever, in the history of all things, been a men’s event
about Finding Your Inner Handsomeness? No. ‘Cause that’s asinine. Men learn
about Leadership and Blowing Up Toilets and women are given fluff devoid of
content. What is the message here? Ladies, sit there and look pretty while the
menfolk go and do the heavy lifting for the Lord.
I haven’t worn makeup in three weeks, I don’t need to find
out what personality type I am, and I don’t give a flying chili fart about
making a bejeweled prayer journal. I need to be equipped and supported in doing
the work for which my Father created me to do. I do not feel absolved from
responsibility to Do Good in this world simply because I have been taught that
women were only created to help men.
I also would like to serve God in real and meaningful ways.
Don’t shut me out because I have lady bits.
Well ladies, what do you think?
Our former roommate Tracy sent me a link to this podcast: https://vimeo.com/120744730. I still haven't listened to all of it, but she talks about the midwives in Exodus 1. That's a good story. So there are some good women's ministry things happening out there.
ReplyDeleteI think my own answer, as I get older, is to just accept that I'm probably not going to find a place where I really fit in. Sometimes I appreciate a chance to find my inner beauty. Sometimes I attend baby showers and spend the entire time talking to male graduate students about the practical applications of trinitarian theology (that really happened...I know you're not surprised). This, after all, is one reason we're friends. We don't really fit in together. Uncle Jim and Aunt Kathy spoiled us. We saw what Bible study and community can be. I also loved what I learned in seminary. But most churches probably don't have PhDs or language experts leading women's ministry, so it's unlikely that either of us will find that again unless we create it ourselves.
Here's my solution. I try to invest in relationships as much as I can (which is not nearly as much as I would like). Mike has really helped me to see the importance of being friends with the people in front of me even if we don't have a lot in common. Sometimes I find unexpected common interests in someone really different from me.
And then the other thing I do is read. I listen to audiobooks when I drive, before I go to bed at night, while I work around the house. I try to read real books, but that can be difficult. I read blogs and articles. I read the Bible and commentaries.
Oh, and the other thing I do is be in charge. I preach the sermons, I lead the Wednesday night Bible study, I make the board agenda...hmm...maybe I need to let someone else be in charge sometimes. So although my church is too small to separate men from women, if we did, I would probably be in charge of the women's ministry. And then it can be about whatever I want. :-)
In summary, those are my suggestions: 1. Build relationships even if you have nothing in common. Invest in people and let them invest in you. 2. Read good stuff. 3. Take charge if you want to study a different book or topic than is offered.
The women in the Bible are really awesome. I love reading their stories. I'm not sure why I connect better with them than I do with women's ministry topics. And actually, I really love the women who go to my church. One lady's husband built a rail to her pond, so even though she can barely get around, she can still fish. One lady knows every Rich Mullins song even better than I do. Maybe in your church there is just a cycle that someone needs to break where the women who are involved choose the topics and then the women interested in those topics are the ones who are involved. Maybe if someone started a baseball-watching group or a Eugene Peterson book study or a happy hour Bible study, other women would come (or even the same women who are well-rounded people).
Happy hour bible study???? I'm starting it!
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