Giving Thanks

This has not been a good year for babies. I have so many friends and friends of friends who have miscarried, whose newborn passed or is sick with some frightening long worded illness. I see their pain spilled out in tiny fragments of words in a Facebook feed. I mourn with these beautiful, strong, faithful women. 

How does anyone ever manage to have and to hold a tiny, frail human? It seems so unlikely. 

And yet, here is my Troy, who came out whole and hearty and continues in embarrassingly good health despite his mother clearly having no idea what she's doing. How did that happen?

Perhaps 90% of motherhood is simply holding your breath and hoping your kid keeps on breathing. I can watch over my baby, put up safety gates and stop him from sucking down toilet bowl cleaner. But. I didn't put breath in his body; I can't stop it from leaving either. 

I feel small and powerless and a little bit ashamed of my spectacular good fortune. But mostly I'm grateful. Because God in his mercy and peculiar sense of humor has granted me life and four beautiful humans to love and live beside me. And I am thankful to have wonderful friends who are blessed and remembered by the Almighty, even as they mourn. I am so very grateful for Bethany and Marissa and the precious tiny humans growing inside them. As I stumble through the joy and fear and road rash of every day, it's nice to have company. 

And I'm thankful because tomorrow is thanksgiving, and it's kind of required.